My Radical Yard Sale

This past Saturday was our Yard Sale and I must say it was a bit overwhelming to see all the "stuff" that has been crowding my home for the past six years out in the yard. We had a pretty good turnout of buyers, friends, family and neighbors; but best of all, complete strangers. I was energized and very motivated to make sure to share why I was having a yard sale to everyone who stepped foot on my driveway. I wanted to sell my "stuff" but mostly I wanted to let other people know that my family had made a choice for Christ. It was awesome. There were a few people who politely smiled and continued to shop but most of them started a dialogue about what we are planning for our family. We had a lot of laughs about some of the items for sale (like the late night QVC side sleeper pillows) but more importantly I was able to tell them that my love for Christ was way more important than the items they were looking at. We want to live a simple life so we can take our surplus and use it to spread the Gospel and that is our only motivation. The night before the sale I had butterflies in my stomach. Just thinking about how to approach shoppers and how to start a conversation made me nervous. When the morning came, God put every word in my mouth and without effort He used me to speak to every shopper.
I give Him all the glory in this journey we are taking as a family.

Radical For Christ

Our Radical Journey has begun. We have been called to live a simpler life and use our surplus
resources to spread the Gospel. God has been very clear to us about how we should
be living our lives and what we should be teaching our children. Worldly wealth
and material possessions have fogged our vision and sidetracked us into
believing we need “things” to be wealthy. Our relationship with our “things” have
taken too much of our time and energy, so we have made a choice to live
Radically. Actually it’s not radical at all, it’s how we feel God wants us to
live our lives and there’s nothing radical about that. We want to be dedicated
servants of the Lord and work for Him, serving Him and others in need. Every
item that fills my home God made and I need to use it for His glory. Every
penny in my bank account is a blessing from God and I need to use it to glorify
His name. We have started the process of
selling “things” we don’t need and working towards selling our current home to
move to a smaller one. With this move we will free up monies necessary to
support Local and International Missions. We want to share our wealth with
others and spread the Gospel while doing it.
Join us this Saturday at our home for our Yard Sale. We
would love to share our story with you.

Wow....Slow Down!

I love it when a school year comes to a close and the children are excited to start all their summer activities. I just enjoyed watching my middle son graduate from Kindergarten this morning. I was giddy and super proud of all his accomplishments but he seemed very indifferent, funny how that works out. All the parents including myself work hard to position ourselves right in front of our kid so we could stick the video camera in their face while they sang, and in my case while my son hid behind the little boy next to him. Each child waited patiently as names were called, then rushed up to the teacher, snatched the certificate, and plopped back into their chair. Moving too fast to get a good picture and so fast that the video makes you nauseous when you watch it. Squirms and giggles were all around but all the children seemed to be happy about moving on to the first grade.

Overall the ceremony was simple and quick but very important for our children to showcase their achievements.

Babies Have Superhuman Mind Control

I have spent the past two hours under freaky baby mind control. Yep my son has the ability to control my every move with just a threatening look in his eye. How does he do this? I rushed around getting him every baby friendly snack and he turned all of them down. First the strawberries were too cold, then the Chex were too crunchy, the gold fish crackers weren’t in a bowl….Are you kidding me! Finally he decided to settle for the strawberries that had time to warm up after crying over five other snacks that just weren’t right. But he couldn’t sit at the table and eat the berries. I had to sit next to him and rub the back of his neck while he ate the strawberries. And I couldn’t just sit and rub the back of his neck; I had to also look at him with a smile. The crazy part was that he wasn’t even looking at me, he was watching PBS. As soon as I thought I was in the clear he would reel me back in with his mind control. I would glance in the other direction and when my eyes started to shift he would scream. So I made sure not to look away, but my arm got tired and I had to take a break. Fearing he would flip out if I took my hand away, I slowly moved down his back and carefully stopped touching him all together. Well guess what? He noticed and the screaming started again. It was too crazy and I fell for it all. I succumbed to the Superhuman Baby Mind Control and now feel like a fool. How do babies get away with these things? I watched him for 15 minutes as he picked up each piece of strawberry with his thumb and pointer finger and slowly put it between his lips and finally in his mouth, all the while chewing super slowly. He had me under his control and wasn’t going to let go.

Thanks for listening, I just had to share.

Skulls and Crossbones

What's with this new fashion craze? As you all know I have three sons and when go shopping for clothes I encounter the same stuff. We have every color polo shirt and pair of cargo pants. It's the same each and every year just with updated colors. Well, I think the stores have run out of color groupings and have started to add Skulls and Crossbones for variety. Who came up with this? It is a horrible fashion statement. Why would I want my boys walking around sporting a symbol of wrong doing. The first thing I think about are pirates and what they stand for. Pirates are criminals and thieves if anyone has forgotten. The second thing I think about are biker gangs and their outlaw rebel side. These are types of people who walk on the wrong side of the track. I want my boys to walk hand in hand with Jesus and wear a badge of honor for the Lord. I don't know if anyone else agrees with me but I hope this fashion trend "dies" out soon.

Today's Word is....Resourceful

This story might not seem like a big deal to any of you, but it really made an impact on my day. When I returned home from exercising this morning, I jumped in the shower and started to get ready for a lunch date I had with a friend. As usual, when it was time to do something with my hair, I was at a loss. It is really humid today in Charlotte so I knew I had to tie my lion’s mane back and a headband had to be included in the styling. I have such a hard time controlling my hot frizzy mess called hair. So I opened my drawer that holds all my combs and brushes but of course I couldn’t find a black headband. An image of my boys using my bands to shoot each other with quickly filled my mind. I knew I did not have the energy to look behind the couches, in the laundry hamper, under the beds, in the toy box or in the back yard. So I had to be resourceful and find an alternative. I remembered that I have a bra that has detachable straps, so I took one strap and hooked it into a loop, Instant Headband!!! At that moment I felt so smart but then thought I must have seen it on TV or something because how could I be so cleaver. Anyway it worked and I averted a hair dilemma. But, as with all my life lessons I wondered how I could be resourceful in other areas of my life. I now have homework to do in this area, to seek out ways to minimize and simplify. I encourage all of you to do the same. If you can take one thing in your life and use it in another area, do it. Be Resourceful.

Grow Garden Grow

This weekend I planted my garden. I am a little behind schedule since I start all my plants from seed and the first set of seeds were duds. I started them over and now have them in the ground. I planted roma tomatoes, white potatoes, leeks, green peppers, walla walla onions, broccoli, cauliflower, long beans, butter crunch lettuce and all my herbs. I also have strawberries and garlic in hanging pots on the fence. I know it sounds like a lot but that is only half my garden. My darling husband built three new beds for me that we will fill with soil and compost in the fall for a whole crop of fall veggies. I’m actually thinking about doing grapes next year if I feel brave. I love my garden, it provides me with peace and tranquility. Love It!!! After all these years I finally found an outlet that provides me with an escape and it feels good. I sometimes daydream about living on my own small farm teaching my kids how appreciate what God has made.

I am currently shopping for a food mill so I can make my homemade tomato sauce and marinara sauces this summer. I seeded all the tomatoes by hand last year and I promised myself to never make that mistake again. If anyone has a food mill they love please recommend it to me. I want to buy one that is sturdy and heavy duty for the hundreds of tomatoes I will have to process for the jars of sauce. My goal is to use all my own onions, green peppers and tomatoes in my homemade sauce and can it for my pantry. I hope I can make enough to last me through the year. If anyone is interested in learning how to do this let me know I would love to have you over and teach a lesson, it really is an activity you and the kids will love. Happy Growing.

"It's Like Googling Something Broad"

A friend said this recently when describing that person we all know who always has an excuse. You know, the co-worker, the classmate, the neighbor, one of the girls….. the one who always has to explain themselves out of something. It’s like Googling something broad and getting thousands of results. You can ask a simple thing like, “would you like to go to lunch next Friday?” He or she stumbles on words and then starts in on their long list of reasons why they may or may not be able to go. It’s like work isn’t it? It gets so bad you just want to back away quietly and hope they don’t notice you left the room. I don’t get these types of people. You either want to go or not. Stop with all the nonsense and make up your mind. Maybe they don’t think much of themselves and have to make themselves feel important by sounding busy. Or maybe it’s a cry for attention or help. Well, I’m crying out for help, “HELP”!!! Stop the madness and just stop talking! I know that this doesn’t sound very kind and I’m sorry if you’re offended, but you know everyone is thinking it.

Boys Will Be Boys

As you all know I have three boys and they are all boy. They fight, bite, spit and fart. They do it all. So it isn’t surprising when they are together they wrestle and wrestle hard. It makes me nervous but I know it’s normal. When my boys greet their friends, there are no handshakes, it’s usually a high five or a body slam. Boys will and have always been physical, it’s just in their blood. As a mom it is my job to nourish their natural instincts and supply them with safe environments to be themselves. Boys will model their behaviors after their fathers and so my husband gets down and dirty with them. It really is cute to see the boys walk around without a shirt and act tough. I’m sure they are acting out being a “man” or at least what they think a man is. So mommies, give in a little and let your boys be boys, let them scrape up their knees and elbows and act wild. I think if we want our boys to be manly we need to allow them opportunities to tune into their masculinity and recognize that they will never be like us (women). So the crazy things they do will never make sense but will help develop masculine characteristics.

Cookies for Breakfast

I have been a parent for nine years now and I can honestly say that for the majority of those nine years I have been super stressed out. Mainly I just want to do everything right and not damage my kids too badly. This morning was the first time I can remember allowing myself to relax and just let it happen. My older boys were not ready on time for the bus, so I just took them to school. It was that simple, why yell and scream and get all worked up. I remember that I’m not on time every single day, so they can have a day or two when they are running a little late too. I had to go to the grocery store and my one year old was a little difficult and fussy, but instead of getting all frantic and rushing through the store, I ignored the cries for attention and continued my shopping. Today I became “That Mom” with the loud kid. So What! After my shopping was done I walked over to the free cookie bin and gave my baby a sugar cookie at 9:00 am. It felt good and I didn’t feel judged. Sugar cookies aren’t bad as a treat once in a while. I didn’t become a bad mommy just for giving a cookie for breakfast. I just need to relax a little more and rest assured that God has placed a hedge of protection around me and my family and that I should be spending my time enjoying my kids not worrying about things that really don’t matter.

Horses Don't Have Seat Belts

During my lovely vacation with my husband to Punta Cana Dominican Republic we had an opportunity to go on a horseback ride right on the beach. Sounds romantic right? Not really. We were in a group of twenty other people and three guides. They put us on the horses and forced them together to get the all-important picture. Let’s just say my horse wasn’t friends with the others. My husband’s horse instantly bucked up and tried to eat my horses face off. If you know anything about me I’m not the adventurous type so as soon as my horse moved on its own I wanted OFF! Now there is a huge language barrier between me and the guides and all I could say that they would understand was, “I Don’t Like!” This wasn’t effective what so ever. The reply was, “O, Lady, You OK.” And my reply, “No, Lady Not OK!!!!” The guide took my horse by the reigns and lead it closer to the water facing away from everyone else. This didn’t make the LADY feel better at all. Next thing I know I am begging to get off the horse with no result and tears rolling down my cheeks. When all the riders were ready to go, I refused to go. The guide ended up leading my horse the whole way and not letting me off. I have never been so miserable in my life and was surly glad when it was all over.

So the trip down the beach would have been great except for one little detail, or should I say big detail. Horses Poop a lot!!!! These horses had no bags on their butts to catch their urges of bowl movements and release. What? Gross. Right on the sand next to the people splashing in the waves. I didn’t understand how anyone could be ok with this but it seemed normal to the people in the water as well as the guides. So the other problem with horses freely pooping in the sand was, when you are in a group of 20 and all the horses are bunched up together you have to watch where your knees are in regards to the horses butt in front of you. That’s right kids, if you aren’t paying attention a horse can sh** on your leg. Sounds like fun right, oh and definitely romantic.

Punta Cana

Hello From the Dominican Republic

Today is yet another beautiful but humid day in the Dominican Republic. My husband and I are on vacation for our 10th wedding anniversary. Plenty of sunshine and strong breezes make for very relaxing days and nights. Last night we enjoyed a private dinner on the beach with musicians and waiter all to ourselves. It was pure romance to say the least. We also went on a tour yesterday of the rice plantations via dune buggie. Lets just say when I upload the pics most of you might not believe I actually had enough courage to get in one. I surrvived it and made it know that I only did it for my hubby. Well, just wanted to check in and say hi, I really wanted to write posts everyday but wifi is spotty here so more to come when I return to the states.

Making Good Choices

In my house my husband and I try to teach our boys to make their own decisions but to also make good choices. We both understand that kids will be kids and make mistakes, but we also believe that at any age a child should be held accountable for his actions. We set rules and limits in the house and we expect the children to follow these rules in and out our presence. Our two older boys are 9 and 6 years old and we try to impress on them that their behavior is their responsibility and they must take care of it. Every Saturday we do a family devotional and a few weeks ago we did a devotional about making good choices and I thought it was very impactful. Basically the story was teaching the children to conduct themselves in a way that would honor God. The story suggested that if you would be embarrassed to have Jesus next to you during your activities, then you probably should rethink what you are choosing to do. The devotional emphasized that God gives all of us free will; but it’s what we choose to do with it that is important. Most of the time I feel that I am constantly reminding my children of this, and time and time again they seem to instantly forget. This principle of making good choices carries me into my next point and that is, since our children spend so much time out of the home and at school; shouldn’t the school also reinforce these core principles? Today I toured the school associated with my Southern Baptist Church here in the Charlotte area and was pleased to know that each and every day the students are reminded of Godly principles and values. It is a requirement that each student take Bible Class in order to meet all graduation requirements. Now I don’t believe that all kids have to go to Christian Schools. I’m just making an observation on how I think it is a good idea if the place your child spends the most time at also reinforces the same basic principles as you do. Making good choices concerning your children are hard too.

Summer Calendar Coming Soon......

Last year I didn’t send my boys to camp instead I came up with my own camp activities. I put all the events on Google Calendar and shared it with family and friends. This year I will do it again. I have had several people request a copy already and I just wanted to let all of you know that I am currently working on my 2011 calendar. It should be done by the middle of April and I will post a link on Facebook for all my friends or you can request the link through my blog. This post is just a reminder that you should sign up for dscount passes in preparation for the summer events. Go to http://www.wsoctv.com/familyfocus/index.html and sign up for the Family Focus Fun Card. This card provides discounts on admission for several of my planned activities such as The Levine Museum of the New South and Discovery Place. I also recommend a membership to Discovery Place since it only cost around $100 for your entire family (two adults and all your kids) and it includes membership to the Charlotte Nature Museum as well for 12 months. Me and my boys really enjoyed waking up and knowing what we were already going to do that day. Each week consists of bowling (not sure if bowling will happen this year our local lanes are launching a new program), free movie at the theater, museum visit, water activity (swim or spray ground) and an outdoor adventure activity (free fishing or hiking). I have researched all the cool FREE activities in Charlotte and put them on my calendar and whoever can show up, shows up and who can’t, well we'll catch you next time. All my activities are scheduled in the morning before nap time and lunch to avoid cranky kids in public and only last a few hours long. I have found if we do too much every day by the end of the week I don’t have any energy left and neither to the children.

Can’t wait to see you this summer!!!

The Human Family Tree

After taking my boys to view the Race Exhibit at Discover Place last Friday we watched a Discovery Channel documentary through Netflix called, The Human Family Tree. This documentary explores how all humans are 99.9% the same and how we all originated from South East Africa. Wild! I love learning how an African American man has more genetic markers in common with his European ancestors than with his African ancestors or how a Thai couple don’t have many genetic markers in common at all. This project studied the DNA of hundreds of random people at a festival in Queens NY. The strangest thing was the most unlikely people had the most in common. We are all human and this fact alone should unite our species and keep us all bonded together. Society has used the many variations found in humans to build barriers and cause turmoil and war. As a world today we stand divided and I hope that more research and projects like this can open eyes and minds to create a more tolerant people.

Four Letter Words

This morning while pumping gas, a man approached me and asked if he could tell me about an idea he had for summer camp. He proposed an idea of teaching children about four letter words (no not the four letter words you are thinking of) positive four letter words. The man’s name was Thornton Howard III and he wrote a book called, Going Fourward – Using FOUR Letter Words in a Positive Way. He explains that he wants to teach children a more positive way of thinking and learning through four letter words. His book is divided into four sections.

· SELF – ESTEEM

· GOAL – ACHIEVEMENT

· PEER – POWER

· HELP – OTHERS

He spoke so passionately about his vision and is so motivated and dedicated to teaching, I just knew I had to share his story with you. How amazing is this idea of teaching our youth that they are ABLE to succeed, that they should give their BEST, show that they CARE and that they can get the job DONE. He has a super powerful message. His message is simple and easy for all children to understand.

I also learned not only is he a published author but Mecklenburg County, NC wrote a proclamation supporting that during the first four weeks of every school year teachers, community leaders, parents….focus on one word each week to inspire and encourage our children. I feel so blessed to have had an opportunity to meet this man and wish him all the best in his journey to educate our youth with positive four letter words.

Runaway

Last night I did something I thought I would never have to do. I called 911 to report a runaway child. I was on my way home from shopping and noticed a young boy, around 7 years old, walking along the curb in the dark all by himself. Now I don’t know about you but I found it to be a little odd considering it was night and he was all alone. To say the least I didn’t feel comfortable, so I call 911 to report it and then circled around to catch up with him. When I was circling I couldn’t believe how many cars were just passing him by and it didn’t seem like anyone was even interested. Well I caught up with the little boy, rolled down my window and asked him if he needed help. He told me “No, I’m fine” but he looked to be really upset. I asked him again and he told me that he had run away from home. I was crushed. A little boy all alone in the dark feeling lost and unwanted, he could have been one of my boys. I picked the phone up to call 911 again and while I was dialing a speeding ambulance came up with flashing lights and scared the kid, who then ran off into the woods. It was only a minute later when a cop pulled up and went into the woods after the boy. I went home not knowing if the police ever found him and was left very uneasy. So being who I am, I called the non-emergency police number to check on the little boy. Turns out he was found and returned home. Thank God, he was safe or was he? It got me thinking what he was running away from. How was his home life? Was he being abused? I will never know, but I can rest in knowing that I did something. I wasn’t like all the other people driving down the road last night. I didn’t just pass him up and ignore an obvious problem. Would you have stopped to help a little kid on the side of the road? Wouldn’t you want someone the help your child if he or she needed it? I believe that we live in a society that teaches us to do for ourselves and not to reach out and help others in need. We like our lives to be easy and that is accomplished as long as we keep blinders on and look straight ahead. I guess you can say that I don’t want my life to be easy.

Actively Dying

It has come to my attention that in the medical field the term “Actively Dying” is used to describe a person who is within hours of passing away. The phrase strikes me as odd since I’m sure most people aren’t “actively” pursuing death. Well this topic got me thinking about how a perfectly healthy person could also be actively dying. Through our lives we seek out certain things but some might be seeking out things that only lead to death. For example, if a person spends his or her life never being satisfied and always looking for the next best thing, or if a person works all the time and never spends quality time with the kids/spouse, or if a person is overwhelmed with greed or lust……my list could go on forever. The point is, could you be “actively dying” by not having a relationship with Christ? Think about it, He is the Truth and the Light and through Him you will be forgiven of all your sins and granted eternal life. By inviting Jesus into your heart you can choose to "Actively Live Forever". Salvation, what does that word mean to you? Are you going through your life “actively dying” or are you actively building a relationship with Christ?

Caregiver Overload

This morning a friend asked me how to overcome her Caregiver Overload and I totally dodged her question and gave her no real suggestion. After getting in the car to head home the guilt set in and I felt awful for not having an answer to her situation. After thinking about it for a bit I realized I had no answer because I suffer from the same Caregiver Overload. In my friends case she is a mother, wife and a nurse, so every aspect of her live is taking care of other people. For most women this is the case, having the constant responsibility of taking care of your family and not ever seeing a reasonable break in sight. I pride myself on giving my family and friends my best but when your best runs out what do you do? I started to think about how I keep going when it gets hard and then it hit me. Recently I have been feeling really overloaded with life but I just think about an upcoming vacation my husband and I are going on and I realize that I will have a break soon. Being able to look ahead to something that is joyful and doesn’t include taking care of another person should provide some relief. This stage of life does have an end and then a new beginning comes, a new beginning that brings opportunity and possibly a little rest. Hang in there and trust that God only gives you what you can handle.

What Happend To Community?

Why is it so hard for the grocery store to have everything in stock when you need it? All I wanted to buy this morning was a bunch of bananas and 2% organic milk. Well they didn’t have the milk, their recent shipment included whole and skim but not 2%, why? I can’t wrap my brain around it. How do you not have milk on the shelf right after a delivery for restocking? Hmmmmm…. This brings me to a point I talk about quite often with friends and family. I think if our world was simpler, things would be easier, no logistics to worry about. If we actually lived in “Communities” the type where you know your neighbors and all the kids go to the same school, I could go next door to my neighbor who is also a stay at home mom or dad and borrow some milk. Better yet I could go and get some milk form the neighbor and while I was there he or she would invite me in for lunch. You know the neighborly thing to do. Society has become money driven with two income households being necessary which means “No Community.” I would love to get back to a simpler way of life and raise my kids around a community of people who valued relationships and family. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m not knocking my working friends out there, I’m just saying it would be nice if life was slower pace with long lasting and quality relationships and if it could all be built around a small farm that would be perfect.

Here's Your Organic Chance

Groupon this week is featuring a $18 coupon for one medium size basket of Organic Vegetables (in the Charlotte Area). This is your chance to try a vegetable home delivery program. I bought a coupon since I am in the early stages of my garden this season and could use some really nice produce. The company Backyard Produce allows you to pick the types of vegetables and the amounts you want and they deliver it to your front door. How cool is that. With traditional farm shares members usually have to go to a central pick up location at a certain time and you also don't get to pick the types vegetables. Backyard Produce makes shopping super simple and convenient on there easy to understand online order form. I love the idea of buying locally grow foods and reducing my carbon footprint. Just try it out! I think this new way of buying your vegetables is worth the $18. Please leave me comments to let me know what you think.

http://www.byproduce.com/

Girl Scout Sabotage

I have written a few posts about how I want to get in shape and feel healthier. Well I’m not sure if all of you are aware but it is Girls Scout Cookie season. Troops have tables all around town, every turn I make I see tables full of yummy treats that remind me of my childhood. I think they prey on people just like me. I have no will power against the idea of eating a crispy Thin Mint or a creamy Tagalong. Why is this happening? I’m totally distracted from eating better snacks when I have a pantry that houses my secret stash of Girl Scout Cookies. It wouldn’t be so bad if I would only eat one or two but instead I have to eat a whole roll of cookies in one sitting. So today instead of eating a well-balanced lunch, I consumed way too many Thin Mints; then took a nap since the treats put me in a sugar coma. Why!!!!!!....... I really need to get some help for my overindulgence problem.

I Wanna Be Made....

So yesterday I invested in a jogging stroller. I have pumped myself up to start running again and get into the best shape a mom possibly can. I have set a goal to drop a few pounds and tone up my muscles and take my 19 month old on the journey with me. He really has no choice since I’m the only form of child care we have. I will have baby in tow and plenty of snacks and juice in a sippy cup to entertain the booger, might not need much at first since I probably won’t be running too far. I figure if I start to run again I might experience a positive shift in my energy and mood, “Erica” just might reappear and not just “Mommy.” I can’t wait for the transformation. If there are any moms in my area who would like to join me, just drop me a line. I would love to run on the greenway near the house but too chicken to do it alone. Yes I’m afraid of the boogey man who might be lurking in the bushes or just the neighborhood squirrels.

I have put it out there for the world to see. I am going to transform myself back into a runner. Yep, I am.

I almost feel like I’m doing an episode of MADE: I want to be a runner, except I’m not a care free over privileged teenager who wants to be a reality star.

RACE

I am very excited that at our local children’s museum (Discovery Place) has a new exhibit called “RACE.” I think this is awesome and wanted to share the website with the exhibits information. http://www.discoveryplace.org/museum/exhibit/21/RACE-Are-We-So-Different

I will be taking the children later this month and can’t wait to see what type of reaction they have about some of the subject matter. This exhibit will cover the science of race but also cover racism in our society over time. It’s nice to know that people aren’t afraid to talk and teach on race. It is a very significant part of our world history and keeps us reminded of how divided a nation can become over four little letters. I feel this will be a good educational lesson for the boys.

I plan to go on the next CMS teacher workday, so if anyone wants to join me drop me a message.

A Bit Much

So my 9 year old son had to complete a Black History Project on W.C. Handy. For those who don't know who he is (and I didn't know either), he is the Father of Blues. Anyway this post is not about the life of a great man but of the requirements for my son's project. First he had to write an essay that highlighted Handy's life and accomplishments. That part seemed reasonable and the students had to have an outline and draft of their essays. I thought this was perfect practice for good writing skills. But here comes the unreasonable part which I also call my homework. The kids were required to do a visual presentation that had to be in the form of a power point, video or other creative style. What? A power point, really!!!! Well needless to say public school doesn't teach Power Point in the the fourth grade. So my work began. The third thing he had to complete was a costume to wear to school that would make him recognizable as W.C. Handy for the Live Wax Museum activity. It sounded like fun until I realized that the only picture I had to base the costume off of was a regular old picture of a balding old black man who could have been any body's grandpa. This is what I came up with. My whole point is, I feel that these projects are way more work for the parents than for the kids. If I left it up to my son he would have written two sentences and taped a picture on a piece of poster board and for a costume he would have worn his winter hat and rain boots, just to be funny. When will the schools learn that these types of projects really don't teach our students? They should come up with group projects the kids have to complete in the classroom with teacher supervision and then have a grade level presentation to showcase the kids hard work.

Next up is a "Career Project" for my 6 year old. Just a side note, it made me really happy when he said he wanted to teach people about Jesus when he grows up. How cool is that!!!!

Happy Birthday

Today my middle son turns six. Wow!....... I don't usually throw parties for every year earned but I make sure to host a very special day. He gets to choose the type of cake and ice cream, he also gets to choose what I cook for dinner. Menu: hamburgers, fries and salad, his three favorite things. We will celebrate and have fun, but it will be low key and very managable to plan. I love it when we can come together as a family and celebrate something so special. My babies are growing up so fast.

Happy Birthday Big Boy!!!

Local Food

Since spring is fast approaching I am getting my garden ready for planting. But with the warmer weather comes the opening of Farmer’s Markets. I encourage all my readers to seek out your local markets and take the whole family. It’s really a neat experience to see what the local growers are harvesting and they are usually really helpful with new recipe ideas for those unique vegetables we might not use frequently. Don’t forget that these markets also host beef, pork and chicken farmers. I just love the idea of getting my meat products from a farmer who doesn’t use hormones and who treats there animals with the utmost respect. I go to Creekside Farms in Concord, NC to buy my grass fed chicken, beef and pork. I have been able to develop a personal relationship with Farmer Chad and his family. He has never met a stranger and will invite anyone who’s interested to the farm for a tour of the barns and animals. This past fall the family and I were able to visit and see the baby turkey chicks that were being raised for Thanksgiving. I know what you’re thinking, how cruel, but it’s just the natural order of things. My boys really liked learning about the pregnant sows and seeing the freshly laid eggs in the coop.

Anyway, take a look at the links on the right side of my page and think about supporting your local farmers.

"I'm Sorry"

“I’m sorry,” goes a long way. It’s hard to remember sometimes when things aren’t going the way you thought, to think about someone else and their feelings. A situation might seem small to you but mean the world to them. Be kind with your words but also be kind and gentle with your tone. I have to continue to work on my tone with the children. I forget that they have feelings too and that their spirits can be crushed with just a word or ever a sharp look. I need to find a balance in my discipline and not be so rigid in my thinking.

Remember to take a deep breath and ask yourself if your feelings would be hurt if someone spoke to you like that. And if you find yourself regretting what you said, say “Sorry.” Parents you are allowed to say sorry to your kids if you mess up, they will grow forgiving hearts if you do.

And The Award Goes To......

Today I had the pleasure of attending my oldest son’s award ceremony for the third and fourth grade classes at his school. After being there just a short time I realized not all the students would be receiving an award for their efforts in the classroom. I panicked a little at the thought of my son not having his named called and walking up on stage. It turns out invitations were sent out to all the parents of the children who were receiving an award. Well I didn’t get one but not because he wasn’t getting acknowledge, but because my dear son didn’t give me the invitation. Well anyway this prompted me to think about the other children sitting there not getting their names called. I felt really uneasy. Surly they put forth effort to earn their grades and improve over the first two quarters. I’m not certain that the rule of not giving every student something is really the right way to motivate improvement in our students. One of the facilitators said that these awards wouldn’t be special if everyone got one. I don’t agree. I feel every child should be rewarded through acknowledgement and if it takes the form of an award ceremony so be it. Each teacher I’m sure can come up with at least one positive attribute of every child in his or her class and recognize it with a certificate.

My boys currently go to the public school in our neighborhood and due to severe budget cuts for next year a lot of things will have to be done away with. Since there is so much that is being taken away from our students, would it hurt to print a certificate with every child’s name on it to encourage growth and development? That one certificate could be all the difference in a student’s confidence and propel them to bigger and greater accomplishments. The administration has no idea what is going on in the homes of some of these children, maybe there are some students who don’t get nurtured or encouraged at home and look to school for those praises. It is a true shame that our academic institutions have become so cut throat even in the third and fourth grade.

Overload

Some might look at me and think I’m a control freak, well I am. I spent so many years early in my marriage overwhelmed by all the responsibility I had in any given week. Now it’s totally different. I have a schedule and I stick to it. I am on a schedule, my kids are on a schedule and so is my husband. I keep track of appointments, functions, free time, errands….all on a calendar in my phone. Figure out what works for you and schedule out your week before it happens. I can’t go day by day and not know what’s next, I have to have structure and have a plan of attack. Don’t make it a habit of overloading yourself with chores, kids, etc. If you have young babies like I do, make sure you have a proper nap schedule and make sure you follow it. There is nothing worse than a cranky baby in a grocery store. I always follow the rule of: go out to run errands first thing in the morning while the baby still has a full belly from breakfast and while he isn’t sleepy. All the housework can wait until I get back and after I put him down for his nap. You also might consider cooking dinner during nap time. If your afternoons are anything like mine you have to cook before the older kids get home from school. Think about it, dinner is ready so you can help with homework, eat, then off to practice and when you get home all the kids have to do is shower and go to bed. They go to bed on time and you don’t have to stay up and still do work. If you are one of my working friends plan your meals and cook everything on the weekend. I would do this when I was selling Real Estate, cook all my meals on Saturday morning and store them in divided containers, label them and put them in the freezer. Every morning I would pull out what I needed and by the time I got home the food was thawed and we had home cooked meals in just minutes. It really isn’t hard to stick to a plan and reduce the chaos in your daily routine.

Maybe you’re overloaded with other things you take on for other people. Think about it. Is it really worth running yourself crazy just to please other people? I used to think I had to participate in all my boy’s school activities and be the PTA President, Room Mom, Coach, Fundraiser, Hostess to all parties……and the list never had an end. If you asked me to do something I would always say yes. Well I learned to say no and it feels great. I am now able to dedicate quality time to the things I love. I was spread too thin with so many things I couldn’t give anything my best. Now I only take on the things that really mean a lot and things that will make a difference. I actually learned that I didn’t have to go on every field trip with my 9 year old son mainly because he doesn’t think I’m cool anymore. Well that’s one thing checked off my list. I also learned that I don’t have to attend every function I’m invited to. It’s good to just be able to relax and not run out to go here or go there just to show my face at a gathering. So I thought about the things I really wanted to do, like writing this blog, and I started to do it.

See the difference when you start giving your best effort to things you really want and love to do.

My Garden

Spring if fast approaching and I have a few things growing already in my garden. I thought I would share photos of my favorite hobby.

Asparagus

My New Green House my Husband Built

Lettuce

Collard Greens

Time with Nana and Papa

I’ve come to realize that if you have more than one child it is probably a good idea to find a way for each child to have their own separate time with the Grand Parents. Last weekend I sent my 5 year old over to Nana and Papa’s house for a few hours in the afternoon all by himself. He loved it and so did they. Having only one child visiting was easier for them and it allowed my son to have all the attention on him. He went to the grocery store with my mom and helped my dad in the yard; he didn’t have to compete with his brothers and was able to do what he wanted to do. I have talked in past posts about letting your kids develop their own identities and this is another way they can start to do just that. I know with my middle son he is usually inclined to do exactly what my older son does, when he is all alone he is able to be an individual and make choices on his own.

So I encourage you to split the kids up and send only one to the Grand Parents this weekend. Not only do they develop in their own personalities, it gives Grandma and Grandpa the opportunity to really connect with one child at a time.

Best Friends Forever Continued

After yesterday’s post about best friends in adulthood, it got me thinking about my best friends from high school. I had the pleasure of going away to boarding school and with that came an awesome opportunity to meet and live with my best friends. You really get to know everything good and bad about a person when you live with them. Besides my twin sister there is another woman I call best friend, my friend Ericka, yep we have the same name. Ericka became my roommate my junior year in high school and I’m so grateful she was. We had awesome times in school but the part I want to talk about is our relationship now.

Ericka lives in NYC and I’m in NC so as you imagine we don’t get to see one another too often. I’m a mom and she isn’t, I’m married and she isn’t but our friendship I feel is stronger than ever. We get to chat on the phone a few times a month and see each other’s faces on Skype now and again. So what I’m saying is that we don’t communicate very often but when we do it’s like time never past. Best friends are like that, no matter how much time you spend apart, when you do see the other it’s like you never aged and you pick right back up where you left off.

I love being her friend because it isn’t work. We have a great bond and connection but it is effortless. We don’t waist our minutes on the phone together complaining about our significant others or for me the kids, we just enjoy the positive accomplishments in our lives, the stuff that’s going on now. A lot of people say their best friend is there to listen when times are hard or things are going wrong in their marriage, I’m thinking that’s not what your best friend should be there for at all, at least not now we are adults and married. If things are going wrong in your home, you need to fix them in your home; those things should stay between you and your spouse. Your best friend should be there to celebrate the good and all that is positive and that is what my best friend does for me. Please don’t get the idea I have never shared private issues with my friend or even my sister, because I have, but after ten years of marriage I have learned that it doesn’t get you anywhere. So I stopped all the bashing and started to enjoy the company of my friends instead. I don’t have to use the little time I get to spend with friends on negative things, there is plenty of time for that later.

So cherish your friendships and don’t abuse them by dumping your burdens on others. Best Friends should be given your Best.

Best Friends Forever

Being a transplant here in NC I have found that it is quite difficult to make friends. I look back at my teenage years and how I was friends with the entire school and I had at least ten Best Friends. When we are young it is really easy to trust and get to know another person, but as an adult it is much harder. I have been in NC for over five years now and still long to have Best Friends. I had to come to the realization that it just isn’t going to happen. With all the kid’s activities and my husband’s work schedule…. it is impossible to nurture a Best Friend connection with a whole bunch of women. I need to concentrate on making a connection with only one or two women instead. I have to allow myself to share my time with someone else who isn’t part of my family and appreciate the company of a “New” friend. I may never share the same type of diehard BFF feelings I had for my best friends in school, but I can share a more mature connection with another woman and grow to trust her and take on the role of being her Friend.

Dream a Little

I wonder if other adults sit and day dream like I do. On occasion I will sit and let my mind wander to thoughts of traveling the world, my children becoming adults, what the next ten years have in store for me, what I would do if I won the HGTV Dream Home Sweepstakes…..you know all the normal things. I also wonder if my children dream about their future. Does my oldest son dream about going to college or playing soccer professionally? As I’m writing this I have realized that I don’t share my dreams with the children and maybe I should. I should encourage them to think about their future and what they would like to accomplish. As Mommy I need to teach my children to set goals and then set out to accomplish them. Involve the whole family in setting a goal this year and work together to accomplish it. Maybe you have always wanted to take the kids to Disney or Europe, figure it out and make it happen.

Expectations

Our typical day is filled with expectations. Some realistic but many are not. For years I have been overly critical of the people around me including my family. I would expect them to act a certain way or do certain things and time and time again I was let down. Why was I setting myself up for disappointment? Not sure. I was carrying the responsibility of the world around with me; somehow I had to be a part of every outcome in every situation. Well enough was enough. I had to get my act together. The overwhelming stress was causing physical symptoms that were getting harder to cope with. I finally let it all go. Ahhhhh… what a relief. Now I am only responsible for my own actions and the resulting outcomes, my friends and family don’t have to do things the same way I do. I have set healthy boundaries and limits and will no longer expect other people to live by them too.

Coupon Crazy

I am a Coupon Mommy! I love to save at the register but only on the things my family needs. I just got back from our local Harris Teeter Grocery Store and saved over $90. Every week I clip and save on average 60% off my grocery bill. It really is easy to do, all you need is the Sunday newspaper and a grocery store that doubles or triples coupon savings. Here in NC Harris Teeter is offering Super Double Coupons this week (Coupons up to $1.98 double) so I just stocked up on cereal, soup, diapers and frozen veggies. Awesome. I also am signed up for a savings card, as well as ecoupons offered through the store. For those who shop at Harris Teeter, bet you didn’t know that they will stack your ecoupon on top of your manufacturer’s coupon. So do a little research and find a store near you that offers these types of coupon programs. I have to feed three growing boys and need to keep a tight grocery budget since it can get out of control quickly.

Now some might say they don’t eat the items that have coupons. Well this is the time to try new stuff. Of course you can be overwhelmed by all the packaged and overly processed food that have coupons, so my suggestion is keep your coupon buying limited. Here is a list of the types of items I buy for my family using coupons.

Whole grain pasta, rice, frozen veggies, cheese, yogurt, eggs, soup, diapers, toothpaste, toilet paper, paper towels, wheat crackers, 100% juices……you get the idea. You don’t have to buy junk in order to coupon. If you have any questions or would like to join me on one of my shopping trips just let me know. Happy Clipping!

Welcome Home

Today’s challenge is simple. Greet your spouse at the door when they come home from a long day at work. If you both work, the challenge is for the one who comes home first. With open arms and a smile on your face give your husband or wife a big hug and don’t forget to kiss (a real kiss not a grandma peck).

There are so many days I’m consumed in being Mommy that I forget to turn it off and welcome my husband home. I need to show him how much I appreciate him working and providing for us. This simple act will make your husband feel respected or your wife feel loved. So make a promise today that you will put forth effort in showing more appreciation to your spouse.

Now for the kids. Welcoming home kids from school can be mighty chaotic so don’t forget to show them love when they walk in. I’m known for barking orders to make sure they stay on task so we can get to tutoring or practices on time. I need to relax more and remember that the boys just spent all day in class being barked at by their teachers. They used a lot of energy to pay attention to instruction and to control their behavior, the last thing they want to hear when they return home is Mom barking orders too. I’ve made it a point to hug a little longer and lighten my tone. I still keep them on task but with a lighter heart and spirit.

Grow Baby Grow

For the past few years I have planted a garden. I like the idea of growing my own food and cutting costs as well as helping the environment. A lot of fuel is burned and pollutes the air transporting produce and if it travels for too many days you are not getting the freshest food possible. Not only that, with many fruits and veggies they lose key nutrients by sitting under those lights in the display that make them look so pretty. My point is, growing your food allows you more flexibility in meal planning and provides you and the family with healthy choices that you should be eating anyway; all while saving space in the landfills since you won’t be using plastic produce bags.

Planning a garden isn’t as hard as you think and doesn’t cost much either. On average a pack of seeds cost between $.99-$1.50 and one pack can produce 10-30 plants. Make a list of the herbs and veggies your family loves and next time you are in Target or Wal-Mart pick up a few packs. Starter kits are a fool proof way to get your plants going. If you want less work, buy immature plants from Lowes or Home Depot. Wait until the last frost and then start planting.

I have a compost bin (worm), rain barrel, and green house to help with all the herbs and veggies in my garden but all you need is a small space on the patio for containers or a small plot of workable land out in the yard. Have the kids help pull weeds and collect all the food. Now don’t go crazy and over plant, just plant what your family needs or just a little extra to store in the freezer for the winter months.

If gardening just isn’t your thing, think about only buying produce at the local Farmers Market or joining a Farm Share. Check out www.localharvest.com to find local farms in your area.

Happy Growing.

PassThe Torch

Kids can do more than you think. When I was growing up my parents taught me how to do chores around the house at an early age. I started doing my own laundry at five years old. Yep I had a step stool in the laundry room and I could sort, wash, dry, fold and hang all my clothes. Looking back I didn’t think of it as odd, just what was expected of me. My chores were my way of doing my part in the family. Washing dishes, mopping the floor, using the vacuum all had to be done and we kids were the ones who did it.

I have a 9, 5, and 1 year old and I must say I regret not teaching them how to do things around the house sooner. We are currently working on how to do laundry, putting dishes away, vacuuming, and sweeping and all the other essentials of a clean home. My boys don’t really look at it as doing their part, but soon I hope they will grow to understand the importance of cleaning house and doing their chores.

So the parents who find themselves bogged down with too many chores and household responsibility, pass the torch onto the kids and allow them to grow up a little. It will help them establish self-worth and position in your family. Move them on up in the ranks and make them responsible for something new this week. For my one year old this week he will learn to put his shoes on the rack and hang his jacket in the closet. Try simple, but useful skills that will carry on to learning new tasks.

Make sure these tasks are easily accomplished and if they need help, help, don’t just do it for them. Put the kid’s dishes in a lower cabinet so they can reach or put in a lower rack in the closet so they can hang their own clothes, get a hand broom instead of a full size one and let them sweep under the table after dinner. Enjoy your child’s independence and celebrate their mastery by giving them a new chore this week, but keep it fun.

Shhhhhh, Listen

If I hear my belly grumble I know I’m hungry, so I eat or if I hear pounding in my head I know I have a headache, so I take Tylenol. Tuning in and listening to my body is easy but listening to my kids isn’t. Over the years I have continued to struggle with not taking the time to really listen.

My oldest will start to fuss and moan and groan because his brothers are bothering him and the first thing I do is tell him to be quiet and stop complaining. Instead I need to be mindful of his feelings and allow him to express himself. I’m usually so focused on making him be quiet, thinking I’m settling the chaos, I don’t allow him to properly deal with the feelings and emotions.

If children feel heard then they feel respected. Remembering to let them have a voice allows them to have an identity and a place within the family unit. I’m not saying let them speak to you anyway they want; I’m only saying give a little and let them vocalize their thoughts and emotions. Having listening ears will built character in your little ones and set them up to be leaders.

Keep It Alive

I’m proud to say that on March 30^th I will celebrate my 10^th wedding anniversary. WOW, I can hardly believe it. A lot can happen in ten years and one thing is losing your sex appeal. Having babies and living the rat race of chauffeuring kids all around town sure can zap the sexy right out of a mom. Husbands are and will always be visual so make sure you give him something to look at. Simple things will do, like taking a shower everyday for one or putting on makeup and getting out of your mom jeans or sweats. Spruce yourself up. Put as much effort into your look as you do your kids. Time and time again I see moms out shopping or running errands and their little girls are decked out from head to toe and the mom looks worn out and busted. Mommies keep your man interested and positive things will start to happen in your marriage, he might even offer to wash your car or do the laundry. So I urge all the moms out there to throw away the Fruit of the Loom panties that come in a three pack and run out to get super lacy thongs. It’s a great time to start since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, but don’t stop wearing them once V-Day is over, keep the romance alive. You can thank me later.

I can’t be held responsible for the growth of your family even though new babies are a blessing.

A Day of Rest

I think every family should observe a day of rest. Now I don’t mean you should lie around and do nothing and be lazy or watch TV all day. I mean you should rest from all the stress of your everyday life or job and enjoy your family. My family spends every Saturday together doing fun activities we all enjoy. We also make sure we use this time to have a family devotional and prayer. All the kids get involved and we really look forward to it every week. We have meals together and the best part is I don’t cook and we don’t work. That means no laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning toilets, washing dishes, nothing. Saturday really is a day of rest for us and it makes a huge difference in how the rest of our week plays out. We give ourselves a reminder that our Family Unit is important and how we grow together and the relationships and bonds we share. The office drama doesn’t matter and neither does how clean my house is kept. We truly enjoy each other, laugh, play games, watch family friendly movies and enjoy a little relaxation from the outside world. We are creating memories through love.

Hidden Talent

Today I have discovered my hidden talent. I am a Bathroom Barber. The Lord has blessed me with three boys who have an endless need for haircuts. Picture Day always seems to be around the corner and I always want the boys to look well-manicured and handsome for those class pics. Well at nine years old my oldest son wants to have a say when it comes to his hair length, notice I didn’t say hair style (he has no style) so he had a nappy rats nest which he called hair. But today he has a Lenny Kravitz fro and I must say he (Zeke) is very handsome, oh and so is Lenny (lol).

So I encourage you to find a hidden talent and enjoy. It gives me great satisfaction to know I can help my boys look a little neater once in a while, and carry yet another title…… “Bathroom Barber”.

One On One

So if your kids are anything like mine I’m sure you hear a constant chorus of…..”he hit me, STOP IT!, don’t touch me, get out my room…….MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY!!!!!” and this all happens before they leave for the bus. I’ve come up with a way that allows each of them to feel special and paid attention to. Now this might seem impossible since I’m clearly outnumbered, but I have figured it out. When school is over I make sure the older two have two separate areas to work. One will sit in the kitchen while the other is in the office. If the other brother is out of sight he is out of mind. Makes perfect sense. So the oldest works independently of the younger one and all are well in the Senegal household. I set up a computer for them to use after homework is done and each have 30 mins. While one is working on the computer the other is with me having their much needed alone time, well alone time with Mommy and baby brother. Usually this works well and has been appreciated by the boys. I yell less and feel in control all while making each of my boys feel special and loved.

Homemade Lemonade

Lemons are in season! At the grocery I always try to find the fruit that is in season because they are cheap. Well lemons are on sale now so pick up a bag and enjoy freshly squeezed lemonade with the family this weekend. I did this with my boys last Sunday and we loved it. A sticky and sweet mess was full on laughs and learning. My oldest is learning fractions is school so it was a perfect activity for him to practice. Quizzing him on measurements and fractions of ingredients made a study session lots of fun. So enjoy some lemons with your sweethearts.

Try this easy recipe at: http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/perfect_lemonade/

Exercising For You

Since it is the new year everyone is on their 2-3 month health kick until it gets too hard. Well I started mine and I want it to be more than just a failed attempt to get healthy in the new year. I have a goal but a realistic goal. Not one that could never work in my schedule but one that fits my plan, my life. So you might laugh but I walk in the mall. Yes I said it the MALL. I don't seem to fit the age requirement but it allows me to walk rain or shine.

You might think you don't have time in your day to do this but you're wrong. For me I find that I get the most done in the morning. So after I put my two older boys on the bus, I make sure I leave straight from the bus stop and head over to the mall. Whatever you do, DON'T GO BACK HOME FIRST, just go straight there. I have too many distractions at home and if I go back just to do one thing, I never leave.

It only takes me about 50 mins. to walk 3 miles and then I'm done. My 1.5 year old baby sits in the stroller and waves and smiles at all the other walkers who are always happy to see a baby. I plug in my earphones and take myself on a joyride of alone time. Moms always like to say that they don't get breaks but this is my first one of many in my busy day. Think about it even if the baby is fussy I can't hear him over the awesome playlist on my iPod.

So I will no longer say I don't have time to workout because I do and after I'm done walking I run errands because I'm already out. Look at that, I get my two older boys off to school, workout, and run errands all before 10am. Awesome.