Local Food

Since spring is fast approaching I am getting my garden ready for planting. But with the warmer weather comes the opening of Farmer’s Markets. I encourage all my readers to seek out your local markets and take the whole family. It’s really a neat experience to see what the local growers are harvesting and they are usually really helpful with new recipe ideas for those unique vegetables we might not use frequently. Don’t forget that these markets also host beef, pork and chicken farmers. I just love the idea of getting my meat products from a farmer who doesn’t use hormones and who treats there animals with the utmost respect. I go to Creekside Farms in Concord, NC to buy my grass fed chicken, beef and pork. I have been able to develop a personal relationship with Farmer Chad and his family. He has never met a stranger and will invite anyone who’s interested to the farm for a tour of the barns and animals. This past fall the family and I were able to visit and see the baby turkey chicks that were being raised for Thanksgiving. I know what you’re thinking, how cruel, but it’s just the natural order of things. My boys really liked learning about the pregnant sows and seeing the freshly laid eggs in the coop.

Anyway, take a look at the links on the right side of my page and think about supporting your local farmers.

"I'm Sorry"

“I’m sorry,” goes a long way. It’s hard to remember sometimes when things aren’t going the way you thought, to think about someone else and their feelings. A situation might seem small to you but mean the world to them. Be kind with your words but also be kind and gentle with your tone. I have to continue to work on my tone with the children. I forget that they have feelings too and that their spirits can be crushed with just a word or ever a sharp look. I need to find a balance in my discipline and not be so rigid in my thinking.

Remember to take a deep breath and ask yourself if your feelings would be hurt if someone spoke to you like that. And if you find yourself regretting what you said, say “Sorry.” Parents you are allowed to say sorry to your kids if you mess up, they will grow forgiving hearts if you do.

And The Award Goes To......

Today I had the pleasure of attending my oldest son’s award ceremony for the third and fourth grade classes at his school. After being there just a short time I realized not all the students would be receiving an award for their efforts in the classroom. I panicked a little at the thought of my son not having his named called and walking up on stage. It turns out invitations were sent out to all the parents of the children who were receiving an award. Well I didn’t get one but not because he wasn’t getting acknowledge, but because my dear son didn’t give me the invitation. Well anyway this prompted me to think about the other children sitting there not getting their names called. I felt really uneasy. Surly they put forth effort to earn their grades and improve over the first two quarters. I’m not certain that the rule of not giving every student something is really the right way to motivate improvement in our students. One of the facilitators said that these awards wouldn’t be special if everyone got one. I don’t agree. I feel every child should be rewarded through acknowledgement and if it takes the form of an award ceremony so be it. Each teacher I’m sure can come up with at least one positive attribute of every child in his or her class and recognize it with a certificate.

My boys currently go to the public school in our neighborhood and due to severe budget cuts for next year a lot of things will have to be done away with. Since there is so much that is being taken away from our students, would it hurt to print a certificate with every child’s name on it to encourage growth and development? That one certificate could be all the difference in a student’s confidence and propel them to bigger and greater accomplishments. The administration has no idea what is going on in the homes of some of these children, maybe there are some students who don’t get nurtured or encouraged at home and look to school for those praises. It is a true shame that our academic institutions have become so cut throat even in the third and fourth grade.

Overload

Some might look at me and think I’m a control freak, well I am. I spent so many years early in my marriage overwhelmed by all the responsibility I had in any given week. Now it’s totally different. I have a schedule and I stick to it. I am on a schedule, my kids are on a schedule and so is my husband. I keep track of appointments, functions, free time, errands….all on a calendar in my phone. Figure out what works for you and schedule out your week before it happens. I can’t go day by day and not know what’s next, I have to have structure and have a plan of attack. Don’t make it a habit of overloading yourself with chores, kids, etc. If you have young babies like I do, make sure you have a proper nap schedule and make sure you follow it. There is nothing worse than a cranky baby in a grocery store. I always follow the rule of: go out to run errands first thing in the morning while the baby still has a full belly from breakfast and while he isn’t sleepy. All the housework can wait until I get back and after I put him down for his nap. You also might consider cooking dinner during nap time. If your afternoons are anything like mine you have to cook before the older kids get home from school. Think about it, dinner is ready so you can help with homework, eat, then off to practice and when you get home all the kids have to do is shower and go to bed. They go to bed on time and you don’t have to stay up and still do work. If you are one of my working friends plan your meals and cook everything on the weekend. I would do this when I was selling Real Estate, cook all my meals on Saturday morning and store them in divided containers, label them and put them in the freezer. Every morning I would pull out what I needed and by the time I got home the food was thawed and we had home cooked meals in just minutes. It really isn’t hard to stick to a plan and reduce the chaos in your daily routine.

Maybe you’re overloaded with other things you take on for other people. Think about it. Is it really worth running yourself crazy just to please other people? I used to think I had to participate in all my boy’s school activities and be the PTA President, Room Mom, Coach, Fundraiser, Hostess to all parties……and the list never had an end. If you asked me to do something I would always say yes. Well I learned to say no and it feels great. I am now able to dedicate quality time to the things I love. I was spread too thin with so many things I couldn’t give anything my best. Now I only take on the things that really mean a lot and things that will make a difference. I actually learned that I didn’t have to go on every field trip with my 9 year old son mainly because he doesn’t think I’m cool anymore. Well that’s one thing checked off my list. I also learned that I don’t have to attend every function I’m invited to. It’s good to just be able to relax and not run out to go here or go there just to show my face at a gathering. So I thought about the things I really wanted to do, like writing this blog, and I started to do it.

See the difference when you start giving your best effort to things you really want and love to do.

My Garden

Spring if fast approaching and I have a few things growing already in my garden. I thought I would share photos of my favorite hobby.

Asparagus

My New Green House my Husband Built

Lettuce

Collard Greens

Time with Nana and Papa

I’ve come to realize that if you have more than one child it is probably a good idea to find a way for each child to have their own separate time with the Grand Parents. Last weekend I sent my 5 year old over to Nana and Papa’s house for a few hours in the afternoon all by himself. He loved it and so did they. Having only one child visiting was easier for them and it allowed my son to have all the attention on him. He went to the grocery store with my mom and helped my dad in the yard; he didn’t have to compete with his brothers and was able to do what he wanted to do. I have talked in past posts about letting your kids develop their own identities and this is another way they can start to do just that. I know with my middle son he is usually inclined to do exactly what my older son does, when he is all alone he is able to be an individual and make choices on his own.

So I encourage you to split the kids up and send only one to the Grand Parents this weekend. Not only do they develop in their own personalities, it gives Grandma and Grandpa the opportunity to really connect with one child at a time.

Best Friends Forever Continued

After yesterday’s post about best friends in adulthood, it got me thinking about my best friends from high school. I had the pleasure of going away to boarding school and with that came an awesome opportunity to meet and live with my best friends. You really get to know everything good and bad about a person when you live with them. Besides my twin sister there is another woman I call best friend, my friend Ericka, yep we have the same name. Ericka became my roommate my junior year in high school and I’m so grateful she was. We had awesome times in school but the part I want to talk about is our relationship now.

Ericka lives in NYC and I’m in NC so as you imagine we don’t get to see one another too often. I’m a mom and she isn’t, I’m married and she isn’t but our friendship I feel is stronger than ever. We get to chat on the phone a few times a month and see each other’s faces on Skype now and again. So what I’m saying is that we don’t communicate very often but when we do it’s like time never past. Best friends are like that, no matter how much time you spend apart, when you do see the other it’s like you never aged and you pick right back up where you left off.

I love being her friend because it isn’t work. We have a great bond and connection but it is effortless. We don’t waist our minutes on the phone together complaining about our significant others or for me the kids, we just enjoy the positive accomplishments in our lives, the stuff that’s going on now. A lot of people say their best friend is there to listen when times are hard or things are going wrong in their marriage, I’m thinking that’s not what your best friend should be there for at all, at least not now we are adults and married. If things are going wrong in your home, you need to fix them in your home; those things should stay between you and your spouse. Your best friend should be there to celebrate the good and all that is positive and that is what my best friend does for me. Please don’t get the idea I have never shared private issues with my friend or even my sister, because I have, but after ten years of marriage I have learned that it doesn’t get you anywhere. So I stopped all the bashing and started to enjoy the company of my friends instead. I don’t have to use the little time I get to spend with friends on negative things, there is plenty of time for that later.

So cherish your friendships and don’t abuse them by dumping your burdens on others. Best Friends should be given your Best.

Best Friends Forever

Being a transplant here in NC I have found that it is quite difficult to make friends. I look back at my teenage years and how I was friends with the entire school and I had at least ten Best Friends. When we are young it is really easy to trust and get to know another person, but as an adult it is much harder. I have been in NC for over five years now and still long to have Best Friends. I had to come to the realization that it just isn’t going to happen. With all the kid’s activities and my husband’s work schedule…. it is impossible to nurture a Best Friend connection with a whole bunch of women. I need to concentrate on making a connection with only one or two women instead. I have to allow myself to share my time with someone else who isn’t part of my family and appreciate the company of a “New” friend. I may never share the same type of diehard BFF feelings I had for my best friends in school, but I can share a more mature connection with another woman and grow to trust her and take on the role of being her Friend.

Dream a Little

I wonder if other adults sit and day dream like I do. On occasion I will sit and let my mind wander to thoughts of traveling the world, my children becoming adults, what the next ten years have in store for me, what I would do if I won the HGTV Dream Home Sweepstakes…..you know all the normal things. I also wonder if my children dream about their future. Does my oldest son dream about going to college or playing soccer professionally? As I’m writing this I have realized that I don’t share my dreams with the children and maybe I should. I should encourage them to think about their future and what they would like to accomplish. As Mommy I need to teach my children to set goals and then set out to accomplish them. Involve the whole family in setting a goal this year and work together to accomplish it. Maybe you have always wanted to take the kids to Disney or Europe, figure it out and make it happen.

Expectations

Our typical day is filled with expectations. Some realistic but many are not. For years I have been overly critical of the people around me including my family. I would expect them to act a certain way or do certain things and time and time again I was let down. Why was I setting myself up for disappointment? Not sure. I was carrying the responsibility of the world around with me; somehow I had to be a part of every outcome in every situation. Well enough was enough. I had to get my act together. The overwhelming stress was causing physical symptoms that were getting harder to cope with. I finally let it all go. Ahhhhh… what a relief. Now I am only responsible for my own actions and the resulting outcomes, my friends and family don’t have to do things the same way I do. I have set healthy boundaries and limits and will no longer expect other people to live by them too.

Coupon Crazy

I am a Coupon Mommy! I love to save at the register but only on the things my family needs. I just got back from our local Harris Teeter Grocery Store and saved over $90. Every week I clip and save on average 60% off my grocery bill. It really is easy to do, all you need is the Sunday newspaper and a grocery store that doubles or triples coupon savings. Here in NC Harris Teeter is offering Super Double Coupons this week (Coupons up to $1.98 double) so I just stocked up on cereal, soup, diapers and frozen veggies. Awesome. I also am signed up for a savings card, as well as ecoupons offered through the store. For those who shop at Harris Teeter, bet you didn’t know that they will stack your ecoupon on top of your manufacturer’s coupon. So do a little research and find a store near you that offers these types of coupon programs. I have to feed three growing boys and need to keep a tight grocery budget since it can get out of control quickly.

Now some might say they don’t eat the items that have coupons. Well this is the time to try new stuff. Of course you can be overwhelmed by all the packaged and overly processed food that have coupons, so my suggestion is keep your coupon buying limited. Here is a list of the types of items I buy for my family using coupons.

Whole grain pasta, rice, frozen veggies, cheese, yogurt, eggs, soup, diapers, toothpaste, toilet paper, paper towels, wheat crackers, 100% juices……you get the idea. You don’t have to buy junk in order to coupon. If you have any questions or would like to join me on one of my shopping trips just let me know. Happy Clipping!

Welcome Home

Today’s challenge is simple. Greet your spouse at the door when they come home from a long day at work. If you both work, the challenge is for the one who comes home first. With open arms and a smile on your face give your husband or wife a big hug and don’t forget to kiss (a real kiss not a grandma peck).

There are so many days I’m consumed in being Mommy that I forget to turn it off and welcome my husband home. I need to show him how much I appreciate him working and providing for us. This simple act will make your husband feel respected or your wife feel loved. So make a promise today that you will put forth effort in showing more appreciation to your spouse.

Now for the kids. Welcoming home kids from school can be mighty chaotic so don’t forget to show them love when they walk in. I’m known for barking orders to make sure they stay on task so we can get to tutoring or practices on time. I need to relax more and remember that the boys just spent all day in class being barked at by their teachers. They used a lot of energy to pay attention to instruction and to control their behavior, the last thing they want to hear when they return home is Mom barking orders too. I’ve made it a point to hug a little longer and lighten my tone. I still keep them on task but with a lighter heart and spirit.

Grow Baby Grow

For the past few years I have planted a garden. I like the idea of growing my own food and cutting costs as well as helping the environment. A lot of fuel is burned and pollutes the air transporting produce and if it travels for too many days you are not getting the freshest food possible. Not only that, with many fruits and veggies they lose key nutrients by sitting under those lights in the display that make them look so pretty. My point is, growing your food allows you more flexibility in meal planning and provides you and the family with healthy choices that you should be eating anyway; all while saving space in the landfills since you won’t be using plastic produce bags.

Planning a garden isn’t as hard as you think and doesn’t cost much either. On average a pack of seeds cost between $.99-$1.50 and one pack can produce 10-30 plants. Make a list of the herbs and veggies your family loves and next time you are in Target or Wal-Mart pick up a few packs. Starter kits are a fool proof way to get your plants going. If you want less work, buy immature plants from Lowes or Home Depot. Wait until the last frost and then start planting.

I have a compost bin (worm), rain barrel, and green house to help with all the herbs and veggies in my garden but all you need is a small space on the patio for containers or a small plot of workable land out in the yard. Have the kids help pull weeds and collect all the food. Now don’t go crazy and over plant, just plant what your family needs or just a little extra to store in the freezer for the winter months.

If gardening just isn’t your thing, think about only buying produce at the local Farmers Market or joining a Farm Share. Check out www.localharvest.com to find local farms in your area.

Happy Growing.

PassThe Torch

Kids can do more than you think. When I was growing up my parents taught me how to do chores around the house at an early age. I started doing my own laundry at five years old. Yep I had a step stool in the laundry room and I could sort, wash, dry, fold and hang all my clothes. Looking back I didn’t think of it as odd, just what was expected of me. My chores were my way of doing my part in the family. Washing dishes, mopping the floor, using the vacuum all had to be done and we kids were the ones who did it.

I have a 9, 5, and 1 year old and I must say I regret not teaching them how to do things around the house sooner. We are currently working on how to do laundry, putting dishes away, vacuuming, and sweeping and all the other essentials of a clean home. My boys don’t really look at it as doing their part, but soon I hope they will grow to understand the importance of cleaning house and doing their chores.

So the parents who find themselves bogged down with too many chores and household responsibility, pass the torch onto the kids and allow them to grow up a little. It will help them establish self-worth and position in your family. Move them on up in the ranks and make them responsible for something new this week. For my one year old this week he will learn to put his shoes on the rack and hang his jacket in the closet. Try simple, but useful skills that will carry on to learning new tasks.

Make sure these tasks are easily accomplished and if they need help, help, don’t just do it for them. Put the kid’s dishes in a lower cabinet so they can reach or put in a lower rack in the closet so they can hang their own clothes, get a hand broom instead of a full size one and let them sweep under the table after dinner. Enjoy your child’s independence and celebrate their mastery by giving them a new chore this week, but keep it fun.

Shhhhhh, Listen

If I hear my belly grumble I know I’m hungry, so I eat or if I hear pounding in my head I know I have a headache, so I take Tylenol. Tuning in and listening to my body is easy but listening to my kids isn’t. Over the years I have continued to struggle with not taking the time to really listen.

My oldest will start to fuss and moan and groan because his brothers are bothering him and the first thing I do is tell him to be quiet and stop complaining. Instead I need to be mindful of his feelings and allow him to express himself. I’m usually so focused on making him be quiet, thinking I’m settling the chaos, I don’t allow him to properly deal with the feelings and emotions.

If children feel heard then they feel respected. Remembering to let them have a voice allows them to have an identity and a place within the family unit. I’m not saying let them speak to you anyway they want; I’m only saying give a little and let them vocalize their thoughts and emotions. Having listening ears will built character in your little ones and set them up to be leaders.

Keep It Alive

I’m proud to say that on March 30^th I will celebrate my 10^th wedding anniversary. WOW, I can hardly believe it. A lot can happen in ten years and one thing is losing your sex appeal. Having babies and living the rat race of chauffeuring kids all around town sure can zap the sexy right out of a mom. Husbands are and will always be visual so make sure you give him something to look at. Simple things will do, like taking a shower everyday for one or putting on makeup and getting out of your mom jeans or sweats. Spruce yourself up. Put as much effort into your look as you do your kids. Time and time again I see moms out shopping or running errands and their little girls are decked out from head to toe and the mom looks worn out and busted. Mommies keep your man interested and positive things will start to happen in your marriage, he might even offer to wash your car or do the laundry. So I urge all the moms out there to throw away the Fruit of the Loom panties that come in a three pack and run out to get super lacy thongs. It’s a great time to start since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, but don’t stop wearing them once V-Day is over, keep the romance alive. You can thank me later.

I can’t be held responsible for the growth of your family even though new babies are a blessing.

A Day of Rest

I think every family should observe a day of rest. Now I don’t mean you should lie around and do nothing and be lazy or watch TV all day. I mean you should rest from all the stress of your everyday life or job and enjoy your family. My family spends every Saturday together doing fun activities we all enjoy. We also make sure we use this time to have a family devotional and prayer. All the kids get involved and we really look forward to it every week. We have meals together and the best part is I don’t cook and we don’t work. That means no laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning toilets, washing dishes, nothing. Saturday really is a day of rest for us and it makes a huge difference in how the rest of our week plays out. We give ourselves a reminder that our Family Unit is important and how we grow together and the relationships and bonds we share. The office drama doesn’t matter and neither does how clean my house is kept. We truly enjoy each other, laugh, play games, watch family friendly movies and enjoy a little relaxation from the outside world. We are creating memories through love.

Hidden Talent

Today I have discovered my hidden talent. I am a Bathroom Barber. The Lord has blessed me with three boys who have an endless need for haircuts. Picture Day always seems to be around the corner and I always want the boys to look well-manicured and handsome for those class pics. Well at nine years old my oldest son wants to have a say when it comes to his hair length, notice I didn’t say hair style (he has no style) so he had a nappy rats nest which he called hair. But today he has a Lenny Kravitz fro and I must say he (Zeke) is very handsome, oh and so is Lenny (lol).

So I encourage you to find a hidden talent and enjoy. It gives me great satisfaction to know I can help my boys look a little neater once in a while, and carry yet another title…… “Bathroom Barber”.

One On One

So if your kids are anything like mine I’m sure you hear a constant chorus of…..”he hit me, STOP IT!, don’t touch me, get out my room…….MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY!!!!!” and this all happens before they leave for the bus. I’ve come up with a way that allows each of them to feel special and paid attention to. Now this might seem impossible since I’m clearly outnumbered, but I have figured it out. When school is over I make sure the older two have two separate areas to work. One will sit in the kitchen while the other is in the office. If the other brother is out of sight he is out of mind. Makes perfect sense. So the oldest works independently of the younger one and all are well in the Senegal household. I set up a computer for them to use after homework is done and each have 30 mins. While one is working on the computer the other is with me having their much needed alone time, well alone time with Mommy and baby brother. Usually this works well and has been appreciated by the boys. I yell less and feel in control all while making each of my boys feel special and loved.

Homemade Lemonade

Lemons are in season! At the grocery I always try to find the fruit that is in season because they are cheap. Well lemons are on sale now so pick up a bag and enjoy freshly squeezed lemonade with the family this weekend. I did this with my boys last Sunday and we loved it. A sticky and sweet mess was full on laughs and learning. My oldest is learning fractions is school so it was a perfect activity for him to practice. Quizzing him on measurements and fractions of ingredients made a study session lots of fun. So enjoy some lemons with your sweethearts.

Try this easy recipe at: http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/perfect_lemonade/

Exercising For You

Since it is the new year everyone is on their 2-3 month health kick until it gets too hard. Well I started mine and I want it to be more than just a failed attempt to get healthy in the new year. I have a goal but a realistic goal. Not one that could never work in my schedule but one that fits my plan, my life. So you might laugh but I walk in the mall. Yes I said it the MALL. I don't seem to fit the age requirement but it allows me to walk rain or shine.

You might think you don't have time in your day to do this but you're wrong. For me I find that I get the most done in the morning. So after I put my two older boys on the bus, I make sure I leave straight from the bus stop and head over to the mall. Whatever you do, DON'T GO BACK HOME FIRST, just go straight there. I have too many distractions at home and if I go back just to do one thing, I never leave.

It only takes me about 50 mins. to walk 3 miles and then I'm done. My 1.5 year old baby sits in the stroller and waves and smiles at all the other walkers who are always happy to see a baby. I plug in my earphones and take myself on a joyride of alone time. Moms always like to say that they don't get breaks but this is my first one of many in my busy day. Think about it even if the baby is fussy I can't hear him over the awesome playlist on my iPod.

So I will no longer say I don't have time to workout because I do and after I'm done walking I run errands because I'm already out. Look at that, I get my two older boys off to school, workout, and run errands all before 10am. Awesome.